False Alarms

I had two false alarms of happiness today:
1) Rumor had it that we were getting a pay raise this year, even though our contracts said the same amount when we signed back in May. Cut to today, and our paychecks were SEVENTY DOLLARS more than usual!! Pure ecstasy! But the hitch is... the idiots forgot to take out our health insurance costs. So, I guess the news is still half good because I’ll still be getting about $20 more each month. But you know, twenty bucks ain't no seventy.
2) Amazon sells groceries! I was super hella excited about this, because even though I love the grocery store, if I can save money I’ll do whatever it takes. But you know what? I am never gonna get through 6 jars of peanut butter, 27 boxes of mac n cheese, or 10 boxes of the same flavor cereal. I guess this is geared much more towards people who have families. Poor me, with only one person to eat all the food, has no use for pounds and pounds of it, even if it is cheap from Amazon.